Pay Attention!

Originally posted on Time to be Mom October 19, 2010.

So I'm up at 4:00 because the dogs HAD to go out at 3:00 (no telling). After spending the last hour or so unsuccessfully trying to go back to sleep, I figured I'd do something I CAN get done.

  Over the weekend, I have put a lot of thought into what my goals and priorities are or should be.  One thing I realized was that, although my heart tells me my son is my highest priority, my mind tells me that he can't be.  For one thing, if I put all of my focus and energy into him, as so many other parents find themselves doing, there will be nothing guiding the rest of my life and there will be no energy left for myself or my husband.

  At our house, we have been struggling the last couple of weeks with listening.  I don't know if it's because I haven't had enough time with him or because he's four...maybe both.  For the most part, Josh is a good kid. He has his drama and his strong-willed side (which, I have to admit, are my contributions to his personality) but he shares and takes turns and is respectful to others.  What we have run into is this phase where, when asked to do something, he says okay and then happily proceeds to something entirely different or just keeps doing whatever he was doing.  We've also been trying to work on having him respond when we ask a question, rather than repeating it until he gives an answer.  I've discovered that half the time, if I ask him what I said, he can't tell me.

  Realizing that none of this is new to most parents, it got me thinking.  I know that my first priority should be God.  I know that he has a plan for my life and that, should I follow that plan, that would be the best version of my life.  The question is, am I making Him the top priority in my life or am I making my family and my giant to-do list my priority.  It seems that, as happens to many others I know, I have gotten so bogged down in the immediate, I have forgotten that there is MORE to this life.  How am I supposed to follow God's leading in my life, when I'm too distracted to hear even if he's talking to me?  Just as my son doesn't hear me if the tv is on in the background, I can't hear God over the din of my chaos.

  So, my first priority MUST be to set aside some daily time to listen to someone who knows more about this world than I do.  Only then will I have the help and guidance I need to keep myself (and my life) focused so that I can attend to my second priority, which is my family.  All of the other things; a clean house, being healthy, even things I want do, come after those and out of them.  How?  Because I want my family to be able to have friends over and have a mom who is healthy enough to run and play and for us to show compassion and to go and experience new things together.

  One thing I have learned about God over the years is that he is a big fan of relationships.  His word is filled with wisdom about how we should relate to each other.  He shows us how we can show love and support even during difficult times.  As I get my schedule and such in order, I want to use the time that becomes available to develop those deep bonds with my family and friends that he illustrates for us.   To take the time to show the people I love just how much I care.  I'm sure that, if I pay attention to Him, these are the things He would want me to focus on.